I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good

[alt_justin]

Hullo, all.

I say, the news this morning has been well dire, hasn't it? Well, as Pansy said, everyone's been trying to gather up as much information about it all as possible.

And Neville, I hope you'll accept my sympathies, as well. I didn't know any of you last year, of course, but I can bally well understand how you all must feel today.

But listen, I've got to tell you all - after the YPL presentation yesterday, I don't think any of you noticed but Mr Helpmann spoke to me. He'd been the one organising my visit back at the Quidditch World Cup. At first I thought he simply wanted to say hello, what, but it became clear that Mr Rosier's been talking to him about my letter. He was clearly trying to get me to say something then and there. Which I say, I thought that was bally well cheeky, what, given all the DogStar business Friday!

Well, of course I put him off as politely as I could do, but it just happened at that moment that Professor Froissart saw us talking. He asked to speak to me and led me away from all the others.

Once we were alone, he demanded to know whether I'd been talking to the Ministry on my own. I said that they approached me, which was the complete truth, what, and then he got very upset. Luckily he was speaking French so I don't think many people would have understood him but--he said I couldn't possibly think of staying, that the patriotic thing to do would be to return to France and explain how badly we need to change things there, instead.

I told him I hadn't made a decision and that if anything, this weekend's news was something to consider seriously. He reminded me that we're leaving in three weeks but he asked me to come and see him on Monday so he could explain why I need to go back with him.

I rather got the impression he thought he'd be blamed for it, if I stay.

But I hadn't even thought that we really shall be leaving in three weeks, if I leave. If Mr Rosier's going to respond and everything's to work out, he'll have to move quickly, what?

I say, I really do mean that this weekend's events give one pause. I'm well certain these DogStar chaps aren't our wand smugglers but...do any of you suppose the smugglers will rethink what they're doing because of the DogStar being routed?

-Justin

Comments

[alt_ron]

This is what we've been trying to tell you, mate. Things here are not what they want you to think. And sometimes it seems they're getting worse, not better.

It's good you haven't said yes yet. Now they'll know they have to really offer you something if you're ever going to.

And I think you should listen to what Professor Froissart says, too. Before you make up your mind.


So you think he's worried he'll get in trouble if you don't go back with him? I'm sort of surprised he didn't know about it. I mean, he's Mr Malfoy's brother-in-law, isn't he?

[alt_pansy]

What did he mean by telling people in France to change things?

Did he mean change them to make them more like us? Or less?

[alt_justin]

Hullo, Pansy.

Well, I say, they've been working on it for several years now, what? Ever since your Mr Malfoy went to France. They've been passing all sorts of laws that increase wizards' rights and lessen the penalties for performing magic in front of or on Muggles.

There's a bill in front of the French Wizengamot now, in fact. I'm not sure when it will be coming up to the vote, but it's called the Magical Freedom Act. If it's passed, wizards and witches there shall be able to cast spells openly. There's another proposal but it's not quite as far along, from what some of the others have heard from home. Some of our students' parents send them L'Étoile now and then, you see.

Mr Rosier said several things as well, when he talked to me over hols. That's what I meant when I said that it's happening in France, anyway, if you follow me. That's why the most important thing is to make sure my mother can leave there if I stay here. And I still think staying here is the best way to arrange that.

Professor Froissart has no reason to offer any sort of incentives, what? Nor any ability to negotiate.

-Justin

[alt_pansy]

But what do you think Professor Froissart thinks about it? Do you think he liked what he saw? Does he want to tell them to go ahead with it? Or change the direction they're going in?

[alt_justin]

I thought I just answered that, what?

Yes, he means to further the cause. No doubt about that.

-Justin

[alt_terry]

it sounds like you're doing the best job you can to walk a careful line. but you are going to have to make your mind up soon.

is there anything else you need to learn, to make your decision? What would it be?

you're right about the wand smugglers. hadn't thought of it quite like that, but they must be awful worried right now. especially if any of their lot work anywhere that the dogstar people did--like the ministry--which means they have to duck all kinds of investigations.

[alt_justin]

Terry,

How are you, old chap? No more rampant claws, I trust? Or if you have had, they've been all right to change back at will?

I've rather made up my mind--that is, I know what I should prefer to do. But I should be very foolish to do it if their answers to the questions I put to Mr Rosier are not satisfactory. I borrowed Sally-Anne's suggestion that I ask to be classified as a pureblood, and that I be given the opportunity to stay at Hogwarts over the summer, particularly if I need to sit extra lessons to prepare for OWLs, what? Though that was mostly so they could say no, I have to go to fostering at any rate.

I'm particularly worried about the fostering piece. I know Luna's not had an easy time of it and of course, Sally-Anne's had particularly dreadful experiences with the Strettons, now and then. I shouldn't be able to be of much use if they assigned me to a foster-family that turned me into a pauper, or tried to arrange a marriage for me, that sort of thing. I should like to preserve as much independence as possible, in other words.

So, I suppose if the answers are ones I can accept, then they'll have a deal.

Especially if our smugglers are taking a breather, as it were, then it bally well makes sense to provide as many of us to fight in a year or two as possible, what?

-Justin

[alt_terry]

No, no more claws, although I'll admit I haven't tried again yet. the last experience was a bit too unnerving.

as for fostering, and the chance you could get a bad assignment: i've learned that if you set your mind to it, you can bear anything you have to, as long as you have good friends to help you through.

[alt_luna]

That's very true.

[alt_justin]

Yes, quite right, too.

I say, I jolly well didn't mean to sound a whinger, or a plonker or anything like that, what? I've nothing but admiration for you and how you've born the indignities of your life, Terry. I'm sure I don't know anyone stronger, what?

Not all of us are that strong, though.

But in any case, I only meant that--well, one grows accustomed to certain resources, and particularly to being able to put them to use helping one's friends. I shouldn't like to have to curtail that.

-Justin

Private message to Justin Finch-Fletchley and Amycus Carrow

[alt_terry]

Right. you know i hate like poison doing private posts, and why, but i do want to say this once, 'cause i think you need to hear it.

i don't have any kind of grudge against you in any way, justin. i don't, and so you don't need to feel bad around me anymore because you're able to study and have a wand in the open and everything. and you can complain if you need to if things are hard for you without worrying that i'll think you're a berk or something because things are way harder than me.

i've got a wand, too, remember. and i study on my own all i can, and i'm going to get away from the bloody git once and for all. and when i do, it'll be that bookbag you buried for me that may make all the difference when I finally escape. do you have any idea how much the very thought of that bookbag out there waiting for me helps me? do you have any idea how much it makes me laugh to myself sometimes that you know Sirius Black, and you're out there studying openly and being treated like an honored guest and proving all their garbage wrong about muggleborns, and they don't even have a bloody clue?

Neither of us know what our lives would have been like if our situations had been reversed. but i don't know if i could have been as brave as you. going to a foreign country and all, and then deliberately choosing to stay in the danger zone, just in the hopes of being able to help.

well.

guess i've wanted to say that for awhile.

i really hope that i'll get to meet you someday, whether you stay or whether you go. somehow.

Re: Private message to Justin Finch-Fletchley and Amycus Carrow

[alt_justin]

Oh, I say, Terry.

No, you were quite right to remind me that I've no cause to complain at all.

And believe me, I well understand that you and Hermione both support my predicament, what?

Only, you're wrong, you know. About my being brave. Quite wrong. Between you and me, mate, I'm well terrified.

Over the last weeks, everyone in the ISS and Hydra as well have asked me to explain why I want to stay in spite of all that might happen if my secret's discovered. I've given loads of reasons but, to be desperately honest, Terry, there's really only one that truly matters. I mean to say, I should hate the thought of never seeing Hydra again and I should miss everyone I've befriended, what, but naturally one can live with loneliness, or privation or even physical pain. So all those reasons to stay, fundamentally, are selfish ones.

But I simply couldn't face myself in the mirror if I ran to safety, knowing that you and Hermione and hundreds of others like you are prisoners and slaves in this country.

-Justin

Re: Private message to Justin Finch-Fletchley and Amycus Carrow

[alt_terry]

i remember once when I told Fred and George i didn't see how they could be friends with me. because they're gryffindors, and i have to play crawling boot so often, just to stay alive. i didn't trust that they wanted anything to do with me, see, because i didn't believe that anyone would want anything to do with me. And you know what they told me?

they said that being brave had nothing to do with whether or not you were scared. it has to do with what you're willing to do in spite of being scared. so I guess that means you are brave.

would you join the wand smugglers if you had the chance? (i mean, assuming that they're not like Dogstar, and they don't go around murdering people.)

I would. if they're like what i hope they are. just working to make people like hermione and me, and yes, you, free and equal.

would you join them even if it meant you could never see hydra again? because you know it might come to that someday. we're all going to have to make choices, and some of them may be really hard. choosing between people we care about, and doing what we need to do.

that's maybe what neville's parents did.

Re: Private message to Justin Finch-Fletchley and Amycus Carrow

[alt_justin]

Yes, I would do, in a moment, even if it meant never seeing her or that she might never forgive me doing so.

I....

One of the things I'm most concerned about is what'll happen when Hydra learns that I knew Black, that this lock exists and we've all been talking about all of these things. And that I couldn't trust her with it all.

I don't think she agrees with the Protectorate, not anymore. But her parents, her uncles and aunts, nearly everyone she cares about has played a role in perpetuating this madness. It's rather a lot to turn against, what?

My only hope is that she'll see why I couldn't share everyone else's secrets without everyone's consent. She's even-tempered in that way, at least. Still, I'm well prepared for her to grow cross. I'm afraid she might decide to be done with me for good and all, though.

Well. That day's a while off, I think.

-Justin

Re: Private message to Justin Finch-Fletchley and Amycus Carrow

[alt_terry]

i don't really know what it would be like to have to turn against your whole family, because i can't remember mine, you see. the closest i can get to imagining it would be to think of what it would be like if i could never talk to or be with my friends again.

that would be awful. it might be more than i could bear.

you would have to really believe in what you were doing, in order to make a sacrifice like that. and i suppose you would have to trust that you could make new friends who believed the same way you do. or in her case, a new family.

[alt_luna]

My experience fostering with the Browns hasn't been nearly as difficult as Sally-Anne's I don't think. Of course, I would have preferred to be assigned to the Weasley family, but the Browns aren't as cruel as I think the Strettons are. They just think that different things are important than I do, and they don't understand me very well at all. But I haven't let it bother me as much as I think some girls would.