alt_justin | I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good

Hullo, all,

I think if we're to endure these Saturday formal suppers from now to the end of term, we'd best get some permanent supplies into the secret room, so we can all have quite a hearty luncheon and not go hungry.

I say, I tried to get Smith and Bobolis not to tuck in so greedily, but it was difficult with the seating what it was.

I nearly fell asleep listening to that speaker, what?

But I wanted to tell you all that Susan, Hydra and I went up to the hospital wing this morning to look in on Megan and see if we could get her to tell us anything more about what happened last night. It started off well enough--she really was rather pathetically pleased to have visitors, what--but just as we were settling in to a comfortable chat, a card, a vase of pink flowers and a box appeared on her bedside table. Susan helped Megan open the card and the box; there was a new badge inside for Megan. The card was--well, it was the sort of get-well card one might send to a distant niece on hearing she's broken her arm or something. Bally well perfunctory, what. And the less said about the badge the better.

But Megan's whole face transformed and she said to Sue, 'You see?' and then she refused to say anything more than small talk. We did linger a while, not wishing to be rude, but it was bally well clear she had no intention of giving anything away after that arrived.

She had the decency to ask after Fawcett. We told her that she's missing, of course, and presumably was brought to harm in the Forbidden Forest. I say, she rather blanched at that, and quite rightly, too.

-Justin

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

alt_ron

Well, Jones should feel horrible about what happened to Fawcett. (Or what could have done, if it had done, if you know what I mean.)

And supper. The less said about that, the better for sure.

Speaking of which... what did the badge say?

From:

alt_justin

It said, 'Loyal'--I say, it was really rather sickening, the way she lit up at it.

From what little she's told me, what, she's bally well starved for affection--even particularly hollow affection, what?

-Justin

From:

alt_hydra

Yes, she is. I mean, that's how it seems, anyway.

I feel terrible for her.

From:

alt_sally_anne

I don't care how starved for affection she is. She laid in wait for Sarah so she could betray her to Umbridge.

NO ONE should trust her with ANYTHING. EVER.

From:

alt_hydra

I didn't say we should trust her.

I'm saying that she would do almost anything to feel as if she had worth - any worth at all!

~~You wouldn't understand~~

It's quite unfortunate, is all.

From:

alt_harry

Yeah.

It is.

From:

alt_draco

Yes, yes Jones is very sad and pathetic. No hope there, I'm afraid.

Onto more pressing questions - You're really a SECRET MUDBLOOD?

From:

alt_justin

One likes to think there's always hope, what?

And--yes, I'm afraid so. Cheers.

-Justin

From:

alt_harry

What?

I mean

Okay?

...Why did you stay? After the Cup?

From:

alt_sally_anne

Wait, you hadn't realised? You've been on the lock for a month!

I guess we don't talk about it much, come to think of it.

~~Maybe we really SHOULD write up a list of all the~~

From:

alt_harry

I started reading it, but you lot write a tonne.

From:

alt_justin

Harry,

Yes, I rather thought eventually you'd ask about it.

I stayed to make a difference.

Hydra was a bit of a factor, too, what?

-Justin

From:

alt_terry

I'm not going to say this to him directly. The first time. I don't want to embarrass him by challenging him in front of everybody when he's just starting out here and he's probably still reeling from all this. I reckon it'd be better coming from you, since you put him up for membership and he trusts you.

But you can tell him we don't ever use that word here. That was one of Fred and George's first rules, and they made this Lock possible.

This is our safe place, and especially Hermione and Justin and me, we don't need to hear that shite here.

First time's free. But if he uses that word again, I'll say it to him directly.

And I won't be polite about it.

From:

alt_harry

I'll talk to him.

I think he's

He's handling a lot right now.

And.

Okay. So he worries about how I treat Hermione, because he thinks I'll slip in public. And it's because he's worried about her, and her safety. So it's like that sometimes. He cares. He just doesn't always show it the way other people do.

...I'll talk to him.

From:

alt_sally_anne

I think if we try to act as if there's any hope, with Jones, we're going to get bitten again. Trying to befriend her is like trying to tame a doxy.

From:

alt_justin

I think it's clear she can't be trusted with any information about our secrets or to help even the odds, that's true.

But that's no excuse for snubbing her altogether, what. I say, that's the sort of treatment that sent her running into the arms of someone like Madam Umbridge. When one's freezing, even a candle's heat seems like a fire, what?

-Justin

From:

alt_harry

We talk sometimes.

I make sure it's all stuff that is within the rules. So she won't get scared about it or something. Like I told her she could practise her Patronus on her own, because it was something she'd learned outside the classroom, so it wasn't forbidden.

And I still don't want her to fail her OWLs.

I don't think

Sometimes, when people are told over and over again that things are the way they are, it's hard to see that there's any other way.

I called the person who murdered my parents my Father for years without thinking twice about it.

From:

alt_ron

On here, we call that person other things. Like a punter. Also a ponce. And the prince of pillocks. And other stuff I can't remember. Did you read far enough to see those things? Mostly it's been on the twins' birthday. April Fools, I mean.

Sorry. Maybe that doesn't help to tell you that.

You all right, then?

From:

alt_harry

Yeah. It does help.

And last night was brill.

Um.

Was it okay? I sort of

you know

Was it okay?

From:

alt_ron

Erm. Was what okay?

I mean, last night was brilliant! We got Fawcett out and you rubbished Umbridge's office and the twins put up the most amazing diversion of all diversions ever.

But I'm not sure what you mean...

From:

alt_ron

Do you mean was it all right to tell Malfoy?

Well, I guess we'll see how that goes, yeah?

I mean, he seems...

I dunno.

Is he going to explode all over everything?

From:

alt_harry

No. He's just sorting through things.

It's okay.

I talked to Hydra and Pans, when I first joined, and they said this was important. That it helped them. So I think this will help him too.

He'll keep his secrets. He just needs time. Because this is really, really different.

From:

alt_harry

I meant

Well.

I sort of made a lot of decisions. And told people what to do. And I know I'm new on this, and it belongs to everyone not just me, and

Was that okay?

From:

alt_ron

Yeah. It was.

I mean, I think last night we needed to all be working together, and it was good we weren't all shouting a dozen different things at each other. We sort of needed someone to make decisions and say who should go where.

And it'd be different if you'd got it all wrong and sent people to do stuff they weren't good at, but you didn't. You know a lot of us pretty well. And I guess part of it is how well we know each other, the rest of us, I mean.

But it was like a CCF exercise last night, and we know how those go. They go best if one person makes the decisions. And we all know you're good at those, so it was all right. Better than.

You're pretty much a natural at that, y'know?

But you're not like some people. Zabini, say. Or Patil. Or Umbridge. Who like people to jump because they say so, so they say jump for no reason except to see people doing it when they say. Does that make sense? You don't make it about orders. Or, well. You don't make it about you.

From:

alt_harry

Okay.

Yeah.

It sort of was like the CCF, wasn't it?

From:

alt_ron

It totally was!

From:

alt_draco

No one would ever guess, as you've got that whole posh/French aura working in your favour.

It's just hilarious, is what it is. The Jugsons scrabbling to make sure they had the prestige of fostering you, and being Dolohov's Dark Arts pet, not to mention snogging Auror Lestrange's daughter...

You must go to bed at night pretty well fucking satisfied. I know I would.

From:

alt_justin

I suppose that's reassuring, considering the consequences should the wrong people suspect anything.

Though I certainly didn't ask him to take an interest in me, what. On the whole I'd much rather he hadn't done.

...Considering I've got a spell that alerts the Headmistress if I sneak out after curfew and I fasted during supper tonight, no, not much satisfied lately. I shall be much more satisfied if your father and his friends do something definitive about Madam Umbridge.

-J

From:

alt_hydra

Draco, you don't have to say 'mudblood' here, just so you know.

We're all the same.

From:

alt_draco

How'd they get you to believe that?

Because it's one thing to think it, or suspect it, but believing it... enough to do the one thing your Mother would kill you for, without hesitation.

~~What did you do when you k~~

And I don't care if the others are offended. If I start writing muggleborn this, muggleborn that, then who knows where else I could slip up.

From:

alt_hydra

I don't know that I can answer that right now. It's complicated.

But I do know some of what you are feeling right now if that helps.

We should talk more later.

From:

alt_sally_anne

I am sitting on my hands right now because what I really want to say to Draco is, 'You know, if we'd had a bit more time to plan we'd have given you a summary up front of all the really INTERESTING secrets. I mean you're in the midst of OWL revision right now, it's going to make it hard to read back through everything.'

I don't want to make things any more difficult between Draco and Pansy than they are already, though. So. I'll just tell you what I WISH I could say and not say it where Draco can read it. (Or Pansy, either.)

From:

alt_ron

Yeah. Do tell me.

Maybe reading it will keep me from saying something I shouldn't to Watsisname. Because, I'm getting really close.

From:

alt_sally_anne

Right now I'm torn between hoping Terry doesn't turn up to lecture Draco about how we don't say the word 'mudblood' back here ... and wishing he WOULD show up to lecture Draco about how we don't say 'mudblood' back here.

From:

alt_ron

Yeah, well. We don't say that, and we mostly don't say things like 'fucking', either.

Anywiz, It's something, thinking he can imagine what it'd feel like to be Justin. I mean to say, Malfoy imagining what it'd be like to be a Muggleborn?! I think his head's about to explode from it, too.

From:

alt_sally_anne

It's always been hard to know what Draco thinks about things. How he really feels. Because of who he is, and where he grew up, and how he was raised.

It's going to be interesting, I guess. Finding out.

From:

alt_sally_anne

Possibly also really annoying.

From:

alt_ron

That's for dead certain.

I mean, it goes without saying, really.

From:

alt_sally_anne

And I don't want to fight with Hydra and Justin about Jones but frankly the best reason I can see for not killing her is that a dead body really WOULD bring MLE down on all our heads.

From:

alt_ron

Um, wow.

Okay, I think we can deal with Jones without having to kill her. I mean, we certainly can't help her, but between not helping her and killing her, there's a lot of room there for other ideas.

From:

alt_ron

So. How's Pansy tonight?

She can't be really happy about how he's taking it all so far, can she?

From:

alt_sally_anne

She's kind of tense.

I mean yesterday she was really excited about how well things went, about getting Sarah away and she was also really happy about Draco finally being on the lock because you know she's wanted to add him for ages.

Today -- well she's still relieved not to be keeping it from him anymore but she's waiting to see how he'll react and whether he'll end things with her, and yeah.

From:

alt_ron

Yeah, I thought maybe-

I wonder how that's going to turn out. I mean, I'm not sure what I'd do, if it were me.

I guess she had to forgive us for keeping secrets, but that's- she's different than he is. And it wasn't easy with her.

From:

alt_sally_anne

She read back, when she joined the lock. She read every. single. post. (That's part of why I was so surprised that Harry hadn't even realised that Justin was muggleborn.)

Admittedly it was during the summer.

And she forgave me for not telling her. The rest of you it wasn't an issue. But with me --

Well. It mattered that I had never once, ever, said anything unkind about her. I had always defended her, always wanted her on the lock, always said she was trustworthy.

Pansy's wanted Draco on the lock for a while but if he reads all the way back I'm not sure what he'll find. Also people here haven't always said kind things about Draco and Pansy defends him some of the time but not ALL of the time because she doesn't always want to fight with ~~you~~ people and

yeah

I don't know.