1. I wouldn't say "temptations." I'd say "opportunities."
2. You've got a good point about foster-families, but I'd make it a little less like you're assuming any foster-parents would automatically be bad. Because they're not supposed to be, it's more to make sure that you'd have good influences, even though it doesn't always end up that way. Maybe instead of saying "exact," which makes it sound like they'd be punishing you or something, you could put it like you're asking about the advantages and disadvantages of gaining a foster-family, like first you can ask about what sort of help they could provide with getting a job, and then you could ask about things like property without coming off wrong.
3.The whole "expected of me" part is tricky. I don't know if you ought to ask right out like that. Maybe Sally-Anne has a better way to word it. I think you can plan on being paraded around a bit, and interviewed for the paper and things, but I'm not sure it's worth asking in the first place, really, unless there's something more specific you want to know.
Also. I have a solicitor, Ari Baddock, and he looks over all my contracts and things. I'm not sure if he'd be willing to take you on as a client, but it might be worth looking into to have a solicitor who's familiar with all of these things in the Protectorate who can read over anything that's been put in writing about you. And your mother. And if you mention that we're friends, and that you're also friends with Hydra, that might help. I'm not sure how much he'd ask for in terms of payment, but he'd tell you. And if he's too busy or something, he'd be able to direct you to one of his friends who could take you on. And if you were worried about your mother, and really wanted to be sure they'd do what they promised, it'd be better to do it that way than try to negotiate something on your own.
It'd also be a way to help keep your money safe. Mr Baddock is very good at that.
I'm not sure how long you can wait to send the letter, so I'm not sure you could send it to him first to look over, but I think he'd probably also want a copy of it, along with copies of letters from Mr Rosier. So I'd make a duplicate before sending it off. Just in case.
I think if you got a solicitor, they might think it's a good sign that you're very serious about coming to the Protectorate, but you'd have to be careful how you put it so they wouldn't think you thought they were trying to pull anything over on you.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2012-05-18 09:16 pm (UTC)2. You've got a good point about foster-families, but I'd make it a little less like you're assuming any foster-parents would automatically be bad. Because they're not supposed to be, it's more to make sure that you'd have good influences, even though it doesn't always end up that way. Maybe instead of saying "exact," which makes it sound like they'd be punishing you or something, you could put it like you're asking about the advantages and disadvantages of gaining a foster-family, like first you can ask about what sort of help they could provide with getting a job, and then you could ask about things like property without coming off wrong.
3.The whole "expected of me" part is tricky. I don't know if you ought to ask right out like that. Maybe Sally-Anne has a better way to word it. I think you can plan on being paraded around a bit, and interviewed for the paper and things, but I'm not sure it's worth asking in the first place, really, unless there's something more specific you want to know.
Also. I have a solicitor, Ari Baddock, and he looks over all my contracts and things. I'm not sure if he'd be willing to take you on as a client, but it might be worth looking into to have a solicitor who's familiar with all of these things in the Protectorate who can read over anything that's been put in writing about you. And your mother. And if you mention that we're friends, and that you're also friends with Hydra, that might help. I'm not sure how much he'd ask for in terms of payment, but he'd tell you. And if he's too busy or something, he'd be able to direct you to one of his friends who could take you on. And if you were worried about your mother, and really wanted to be sure they'd do what they promised, it'd be better to do it that way than try to negotiate something on your own.
It'd also be a way to help keep your money safe. Mr Baddock is very good at that.
I'm not sure how long you can wait to send the letter, so I'm not sure you could send it to him first to look over, but I think he'd probably also want a copy of it, along with copies of letters from Mr Rosier. So I'd make a duplicate before sending it off. Just in case.
I think if you got a solicitor, they might think it's a good sign that you're very serious about coming to the Protectorate, but you'd have to be careful how you put it so they wouldn't think you thought they were trying to pull anything over on you.