I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good: Private Message to Sally-Anne

[alt_justin]

Sally-Anne,

How are you feeling?

I say, I've been reading back through all the Order posts, as well. I...have you come across the posts about Mr Milland--the real Mr Milland, that is?

Have you given any thought to whether you'll take Professor Dolohov's offer to stay in his N.E.W.T.-level course, regardless of marks?

I've been thinking about your week with your father. If there's anything you can think of to make it more tolerable, what, I hope you'll let us know. I'm not sure what I might be able to talk the Jugsons into doing or not doing but I feel certain I can shake off Alfie and Remy for most of the summer, what.

At this rate, we might well be devising missions for the Order before the end of July.

-Justin

Comments

[alt_sally_anne]

That's a lot of questions, Justin.

I'm feeling....I don't know how I'm feeling.

Did you know that my father once pushed me into a fire? It wasn't exactly on purpose, but.

Yeah.

I have a wand now so if he comes after me -- well, Professor Dolohov suggested I defend myself and then call him if I think I'm going to get in trouble.

And the thing is he's not always like that. My father, I mean. Sometimes he's fine, and when he and my mother came to the viewing of 'the body of the traitor Black' and stood by me in the queue and talked to Jeremy he was so happy to see me. Just like Mum was. So I don't know. I'm hoping things will go really well and so I don't want to do anything that would make him cross, like having loads of friends dropping by.

[alt_justin]

Oh, I say.

See here, Sally-Anne. If he puts you in danger, then leave. Floo to Mrs Weasley or to Grimmauld Place. Or use your Galleon and one of us who can Apparate will come and get you. Any of us would do it and all of us would testify that you were right to go.

-Justin

[alt_sally_anne]

He's not on the floo.

Or at least he wasn't when my mum lived there because it was against Ministry rules. He might be now, I suppose. I'm not sure.

I hadn't thought about the galleon. That's a good thought. I'll do that, if I have to.

[alt_sally_anne]

Milland.

Yeah.

But this is the thing, if you're not going to kill the people who are a terrible danger to you, you have to keep them prisoner, don't you? I mean back before the war, when the Longbottoms were the Aurors and Barty Crouch and Bellatrix Lestrange were the outlaws, if they'd caught Mr Crouch or Mrs Lestrange they'd have sent them off to Azkaban (which is quite a bit less pleasant than anywhere in Hogwarts seeing as you have DEMENTORS THERE.)

Anyway now they can't send people off to Azkaban. So. There was a time I think a couple of them ambushed Professor Carrow and beat him up. And then just let him go again. And THAT was completely pointless, I mean it made them feel a bit better but you know this was before Carrow murdered Hannah; if they'd KILLED Carrow that night, or hauled him off and kept him prisoner in a cave somewhere forever, Hannah would still be alive.

And there's Milland, he was spying and they caught him and they made him a prisoner while they tried to work out what to do with him, and he's still a prisoner.

Anyway I think it's fine to be squeamish about killing people. And it's fine to be squeamish about keeping people prisoner forever. But it's sort of crazy to be squeamish about BOTH. Because when you have an enemy who's really dangerous IT'S ONE OR THE OTHER. You know?

[alt_sally_anne]

Also.

AZKABAN.

Really. You know what, dying is better than a life sentence in Azkaban. Well, unless you escape, I suppose, like Mr Snape did, but he's like the ONLY ONE EVER, you know? And it's not merciful to send someone there forever instead of killing them. It's kind of worse.

[alt_justin]

Well, let's get something straight, what: I'm not squeamish about killing people, or keeping them prisoner. I disagree with killing people when there are any alternatives.

And as far as keeping them prisoner, I can't pretend that Muggles have better methods, though they certainly don't employ Dementors, what. But rehabilitation is an area where wizards could stand to learn a thing or two from Muggles. In the case of Aurors Crouch or Lestrange, what, I bally well think they may not give us a choice other than to kill them--but in battle, which is a wholly different matter from murder--or after a fair trial, and in some humane manner.

I can't say that Mr Milland's manner of being imprisoned is humane, either, but I say, I've little to offer that would have been preferrable, unless it were to suggest that Mr Snape vacate the school so he no longer needs Mr Milland as a ready supply of polyjuice material, what.

And yes, I did read about Sirius and Mr Longbottom thrashing Mr Carrow. Shocking. I can imagine they were jolly well provoked but that's no excuse. You're right; in the end it did nothing. They ought to have done the thing properly, if they were going to do it at all.

-Justin

[alt_sally_anne]

Well so what do muggles do with people like Aurors Crouch and Lestrange?

And fine, you're not squeamish. But whether it's squeamishness or because you disagree morally or some other reason -- if you don't want to kill someone like Milland but you need to keep yourself (and the Order) safe from him, that means keeping him a prisoner indefinitely. That's the choice, kill him or keep him prisoner. They can't very well let him go, and neither option is exactly nice.

Terry got really angry about Milland. I don't know if he thought it through. What did he think the Order SHOULD have done? If they'd killed him straight off they wouldn't have had to try to work out what to do.

[alt_justin]

Well, as I said, I suspect Aurors Crouch and Lestrange will leave us no choice but to kill them. But if one could capture them, one would hold a trial, or tribunal, what, in which their crimes would be listed and they would be held accountable for their actions. Usually they would be sentenced to either life in prison or death, by something like lethal injection, though they used to use hanging or other methods that were well brutal but at least quick. In France it was the guillotine for loads of years, what, but then there's the electric chair and a firing squad.... Muggles spent far too long thinking up new ways to kill one another, what.

Well, as I say, they'd be sentenced but only after a jury all decided it was the only thing to do. And as they're wizards, if they were imprisoned, one would have to put anti-Apparition wards all round the prison. But the real difference is that once they're in prison, they wouldn't simply be left to Dementors. Well, perhaps Aurors Crouch and Lestrange would face something almost as bad. They'd likely be kept in solitary confinement most of the time.

But if it's someone less culpable, such as perhaps.... Well, let us speculate that Ron's brother Percy is made a Death Eater, and then stands trial. I expect he'd be imprisoned and given counselling so that at the end of his sentence, he'd be fit to live in society again.

Perhaps that's a bad example.

-Justin

[alt_sally_anne]

But Percy's not

I suppose. If it worked that wouldn't be so bad.

[alt_justin]

Yes, if it worked. The problem is that of course, prisons are full of criminals and criminals, by and large, don't care to follow rules of polite society. I suspect someone like Percy might be made to see his errors fairly easily; it's less clear about someone like--well, perhaps someone like Mr Selwyn, before he tried to kill the Lord Protector, what. Or Professor Lestrange. On one hand, they seem to be decent people who are trying to do their best. On the other, they surely have blood on their hands, what.

I'm not sure how one would rehabilitate a wizard who had no interest in changing.

But perhaps there are wizards out there who are more clever than we are.

I'm always wide awake after Astronomy, are you? And I've Arithmancy tomorrow. It's not a good combination, I'm afraid. I daresay, I hope next year's timetable is a bit more forgiving.

-Justin

[alt_sally_anne]

Yeah I don't even know how you'd make Percy see the error of his ways. He was raised by Mr and Mrs Weasley and look how he turned out.

Or Prof

And yeah. I can never sleep after Astronomy. Not right away, anyway. At least I don't have Madam Umbridge demanding I get up early the next day, anymore.

[alt_sally_anne]

And, er, right. Dark Arts.

I want to take the class. I'm still trying to work out whether I can manage to be in the same room as Professor Dolohov on a regular basis. But he's going to teach quite a bit that would be useful. And he said that if I want to live by the Healer Code of Ethics, he won't require me to violate it. (Of course, I may not pass the exam. But it's not really the NEWT I want, anyway, it's some of what he'll teach us.)

Have you decided what you're going to do? You know he could make you REALLY good at

[alt_justin]

I've a feeling you'll accuse me of being squeamish again but I am more than a little apprehensive about two more years in his class. It's bally well bad enough he's taken such an interest in me. I know he can't Legilimise but I spend nearly every encounter worried I shall give myself away, what?

I say, the only thing that might change my mind is if not taking his subject bally well piques his interest even more. Either way, it's dashed intolerable.

-Justin

[alt_sally_anne]

I never said YOU were squeamish.

Anyway I don't know if he'd be any more or less interested in you if you didn't take his class.

[alt_justin]

I wish he weren't interested, at all.

Hydra says it's made Draco somewhat envious. I say, I'd gladly trade places.

-Justin

[alt_sally_anne]

Ask Snape for some polyjuice.

(Kidding! Dolohov would definitely notice it wasn't really you.)

[alt_sally_anne]

So how are you, anyway?

I could barely sit in Dolohov's class without seeing his face, you know, what he looked like in the Department of Mysteries. I don't know what he looked like when he was duelling you, though -- I couldn't see from where I was sitting.

It's getting better, at least. I had nightmares the first few nights but mostly not about Dolohov.

[alt_justin]

I'm better, thanks. Jack's made quite a difference to being able to sleep.

I don't really recall duelling him--or what he looked like, I should say, what. I remember seeing when he was going to cast something--it was in his eyes--but I wasn't quite fast enough to cast 'Protego' before his spell hit.

Facing him has been much easier than I feared, though.

I'm glad your nightmares are subsiding, what.

-Justin

[alt_sally_anne]

Also.

Found anything in the Order posts that's interesting in all the wrong ways?

Because I have. It's really REALLY weird seeing them talk about us but being gossiped about by Weasleys was the weirdest, for me.

[alt_justin]

Oh, there's rather a lot of that nature, what, with Sirius well convinced that Hydra was an agent of her mother's will and that I'd be discovered in half an instant after defecting.

Try not to judge them too harshly, what.

-Justin

[alt_sally_anne]

Oh yes, the stuff about Hydra is hilarious. Probably less funny to her. Or you.

[alt_justin]

Well, I suppose I can see why they thought the things they thought. It's not as if anyone had reason to know that Hydra isn't a clone of her mother, what. I say, even her mother tried to mold her into a miniature version of herself.

I am sorry I never knew Mr Weasley any better, or at all, really. And Hannah. It's odd to feel a jolly outsider about so many things.

-Justin

[alt_sally_anne]

Yeah. Before she came to school I imagined her very differently from how she actually is.

I didn't know Hannah all that well, either. Neville did. And Susan. And she was in your House, before she died.

[alt_justin]

Yes, I know. That's the thing: It's well awkward, knowing that everyone else in my House thought her a good friend. Sometimes they assume I knew her, as well, and then halfway through a story, they'll remember that it was before my first visit, what. One feels a frightful impostor at such moments. Well, I suppose one is an impostor but--it rather throws up a mirror, what?

And Hydra was right there when everything happened with Professor Carrow. So she feels quite connected to the whole business. Do you know the House had a little get-together on the second anniversary of her death? I say, is that a wizarding practice, or a Hufflepuff one? I'm sure some Muggles do mark things like that every year, what, but I'm not used to that sort of...sentimentality, I suppose one might call it. But Hydra was invited and wanted to be there. I should have gone out of respect in any case, but with her so much a part of it, it was difficult to stay out of the way. And of course, most everyone understood but some did shoot me an accusatory look or two, as if to ask why I thought I ought to be there.

Reading back through all that again, from the Order's perspective...I think it must be quite difficult for them, knowing that so many of you have been in the thick of all these events, ever since first year, and not being able to intervene more directly. I hope that will change now and they'll see us as equals and allies, not children to be protected.

[alt_sally_anne]

I didn't know about the get-together but that doesn't surprise me.

I think wizards more often mark the person's birthday, even after they're gone, but I can understand why the Hufflepuffs wanted to be together.

[alt_sally_anne]

As for the Order...so much of the last five years there hasn't been anything they could do. Well, the Headmistress intervened when Fred and George got caught meddling with Carrow's office, I've no doubt he wanted to cruciate both of them and she kept it from happening and gave them a different detention. But she couldn't protect them from what Umbridge did, which was a hundred times worse. They couldn't protect me, or Ron, or Pansy, the times we got cruciated. They couldn't protect Terry from all the horror Carrow inflicted on him, or at least they didn't.

They couldn't protect Hannah Abbot. They couldn't protect Sophie Fleet. They couldn't protect Dennis.

If we are children to be protected and it's their job to protect us they're not doing a very good job of it, are they? They should just resign themselves to treating us as allies. It'll be better for ALL of us.

[alt_sally_anne]

Sooooooooooo speaking of nightmares, Pansy and I borrowed the memory bowl thing tonight and watched Harry's memory from the night the Lord Protector came back.

I'm thinking it will save quite a bit of trouble if I just don't try to go to sleep tonight at all.

[alt_justin]

Beg pardon?

Why on earth would you subject yourselves to that? I mean to say, one could conceive of reasons and good ones, but--well, I say. What possessed you to feel the need, if one may ask?

-Justin

[alt_sally_anne]

Pansy wanted to see it.

She said she was ready to stop closing her eyes to what Lucius Malfoy does, for the Lord Protector, but she needed to see it for herself.

I told her that if she was going to watch then so was I.

Mostly because I wanted to see exactly what she was seeing, so that if later, she tried to pretend it wasn't as bad as it was -- she really loves Mr Malfoy. Anyway I wanted to be able to remind her what she saw, if it was necessary. In retrospect I don't think it was. Mr Malfoy -- well, his hand was shaking, when he took Mr Selwyn's blood. And when the Lord Protector killed Mr Selwyn he looked extremely frightened. But he didn't hesitate to do anything he was told to do.

[alt_justin]

I see. Do you mean you don't think it was necessary to see the memory after all, or that it probably shan't be necessary to remind her, what?

You're quite a good friend, Sally-Anne, to make sure she didn't watch something like that alone.

-Justin

[alt_sally_anne]

Oh, the second.

Draco watched, because Harry was there. I didn't think Pansy should have to think about it by herself, if she was determined to watch it (which she was).

I will admit I was rather hoping Professor Dumbledore would refuse to let us see it but no, he was quite willing.

[alt_sally_anne]

Also Pansy's been thinking about trying to get onto the Council.

I think seeing this convinced her she shouldn't.

So that was something.

[alt_justin]

And no, I shouldn't think anyone on the Council would take Pansy too seriously, what, if she said she wanted to be one of them. Not that they would doubt her sincerity, only that she jolly well isn't the type who one would picture getting up to their sorts of tricks.

Though it does rather narrow the field if we do need a fresh crop of Death Eaters, what? (Mind, not that there seems to be much security in becoming a Death Eater. Mr Higgs was one for all of a week, if the rumours one hears are true.)

-Justin

[alt_sally_anne]

That's true about Pansy. I mean there are very few Councilwitches and one of them is Bellatrix Lestrange. And after seeing the look on Mr Malfoy's face when the Lord Protector killed Mr Selwyn, I don't think he'd much fancy Pansy getting an invitation.

Draco, though -- if anyone's likely it would be him. I don't think his father would be well pleased about that, either.

[alt_justin]

It's odd, isn't it, that Professor Dolohov seems to be the only person recommending it as a career path, what!

Though he's never actually said the words, 'You could be a Councilwizard someday,' or anything like. One wonders how he would react if we asked him, flat out, whether he thinks the Council is a worthwhile aspiration these days.

-Justin

[alt_sally_anne]

Good thought. You should definitely ask him and let me know what he says.

[alt_sally_anne]

Fair warning, though, just in case you haven't thought about this:

Asking him about Council membership is probably not going to make him LESS interested in having you as a protege.

[alt_justin]

Oh, no. I was thinking you ought to ask, what!

-Justin

[alt_sally_anne]

Of course you were.

Maybe we should have Neville ask. That won't make him at all suspicious.

[alt_justin]

I say, are you really planning to stay awake all night?

-J

[alt_sally_anne]

Yes and no.

I'm not planning on trying to go to sleep, because then I'll just lie awake, picturing...things. If I plan to stay up all night, eventually I'll get tired and fall asleep anyway.

You don't need to stay up and keep me company, mind you. Pansy's right in the next bed.

[alt_justin]

Oh, not at all, it's quite all right. We've been sitting up talking anyway.

Wayne and Bobby don't plan to return next year, you see.

-J

[alt_sally_anne]

Do they at least think they passed enough of their exams?

[alt_justin]

Yes, both of them, though they're less confident of whether they'd have enough to continue into N.E.W.T. study. But neither of them care much about N.E.W.T.-level, whether or not they're eligible, what.

One can hardly blame them.

But we're all getting rather tired now so, I think we'll be putting out the lights soon.

Still, I'll keep my journal handy, if you need to talk and don't wish to disturb Pansy, shall I?

If I'd known I could have offered you the loan of a rather persistent kitten. But then there are a few of those round Slytherin already, aren't there? I don't suppose Sebastian would have appreciated it, what.

-J

[alt_sally_anne]

Sebastian has been trying hard to be comforting, but there are some things cats are better at than rats.

But yeah, he does not think much of the plague of kittens. The older cats (and Pansy's kneazel) are all well-mannered enough not to try to eat him, but the kittens think they want to play with him.