I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good: Private Message to Dux

[alt_justin]

Dux,

Are you going on holiday with the Malfoys? Mr Jugson told Remy you might do.

It's funny, at CCF I thought it was torture to see you sitting just down the table, but not be able to spend any time alone together. But now I miss even being able to catch a glimpse of your hair or your hand reaching for the butter and rolls. Being able to watch while you tried some task or hearing your voice across the grounds. By comparison, CCF feels like it was perfect.

Is everything all right, at home? Your mother's not been too intolerable, I hope?

I say, though, when Remy asked about inviting you, Alfie got a very strange...look. I'm not half sure how to describe it. Perhaps his tomatoes were just a bit mushy or something, what, but he looked like he'd tasted something bitter. I think he's disappointed that Remy's so keen to include me in the family. In a way it was better when your aunt and uncle were stewarding me about the country, what?

Any idea who's going to be taking Dark Arts? If it's Madam Umbridge, I think Sally-Anne might have to give it up for a bad job. Bad enough she's running the YPL. I hope that doesn't make things well awful for Luna or the others. I guess we'd be able to help each other with lessons, so everyone can keep up their marks despite whatever she--or whomever it winds up being--might decide to do. But I say, I simply can't see her teaching in a classroom, can you?

Also, did you notice what Mr Malfoy said about 'changes to the curriculum?' I don't well like the sound of that. What do you think it means? Remy says he's just happy we've not gone and bought all our supplies yet, what, because it probably means they're changing textbooks or something. I'm not sure it doesn't mean more than that.

You've not gone to do your shopping yet, either, have you? If not, and you do know when you're going to get your school things, what, tell me and Remy and we'll make sure to go then, too.

Did I mention that I miss you?

-Justin

Comments

[alt_hydra]

Everything's all right...mostly. Daddy was at St James the other night and he tried to discuss the Malfoy holiday and they ended up fighting about it. Not screaming - they never scream - but Mummy has this laugh she does...

I think that Daddy, Mrs Baylock, Rigel, and I will go up at the weekend, but I'm not sure for how long.

Mummy's still been bringing some of those other Aurors over quite a lot, and sometimes I get to listen to what they talk about. They're never very direct, but I'm sure that some of it is about Sirius. I think they're all hunting him. I mean, everyone knows that MLE is hunting him, even if they still pretend like he's dead, but it's clear that they have a whole division dedicated to it, and that Mummy is in charge.

I don't know, do you think these are the sort of thinks the rest of the lock would be interested in? Not just in MLE and Mummy, but in things that go on when I'm at home? Or might they just be shocked, or feel sorry for me? I'm still not sure how much I can or should share with the others.

I don't know about any changes in curriculum, but if I see Uncle Lucius this weekend I can tell you if he says anything about it. I hope it's not like the changes that they're making to YPL though, and if Madam Umbridge takes over Dark Arts... well, I don't know who could be worse than Miss Professor Carrow was, but if anyone could be, it might be Madam Umbridge, though in a completely different way.

I'm sorry Alfie's being strange. I'm really not close to him so I don't know that I can tell you much, except that he might feel a bit abandoned by Remy? Though they've always squabbled a lot, so I'm really not sure.

Anyway, I haven't gotten anything for school yet, and I really need new everything. Clothes and robes, especially. Even my socks feel tighter!

I miss you, too. I wish we could fire-chat more, but I'm worried that Daddy might show up. It would be so good to get to hear your voice, though. I wish they made a type of howler that spoke softly, instead, and only to the person who it was meant for. Maybe I should try to invent it.

Love,
Hydra

[alt_justin]

Dash it. Not that I don't wish you to have a fun weekend's holiday but I'd rather hoped that if you weren't going with them, you could accept Remy's invitation instead.

Well, I do think they'd all be quite interested in knowing anything about the hunt for Sirius, what, but I say, I suppose I can understand if you don't want to tell. The thing is that Hermione could warn him, if you did tell her. I'm sure he knows they're well aware he's alive but it would have to be useful to know any sorts of details about their search. One wouldn't want you to be caught spying, though--by your mother or anyone else.

But as for telling them things about your home life.... I say, that's up to you, love. I doubt anyone would pity you worse than they might do already, simply because you had the poor fortune to be born to your mother. It might well help them understand more about you, what? But it's up to you whether you're well comfortable talking about it or not.

On the other hand, one thing that I think shall make or break the future of the lock is whether the people on it believe it's safe to bring up any topic, what? I think--I mean to say, I believe--that might be what Sirius was trying to tell Sally-Anne.

Especially with whatever changes might be in store, what? I don't quite understand why your uncle and the others seem to think they can just make every subject so well dire and dreary yet expect everyone to still want to study them! It does seem counter-productive. I don't think Mr Malfoy truly likes Madam Umbridge, though, does he, so perhaps there's hope. He did say half the Governors agreed--though he did not say whether he was on the half that agreed or the half that disagreed.

About Alfie, that would make sense but Remy's not abandoned him at all. He encourages Alfie to come with us whenever we're doing anything. It's rather endearing, in point of fact. He's always trying to bring Alfie along. Perhaps it's that Alfie feels pressured to be social.

You'll have to let me buy you at least one item when we're shopping.

I wish we could talk properly as well. It'll be good to be back at school (always assuming school isn't well horrid!). I've never called someone through a fire chat. What's it like? Don't one's knees get terribly tired?

I'm sure you could invent something like that and it would be brilliant. Perhaps a toy or a card into which one can record a message. Then one could listen to it over and over.

For now I suppose we'll just have to write.

Yours,

-Justin

[alt_hydra]

If I accepted Remy's invitation Daddy might think it a bit odd. He also might not, but it's probably best to play it safe. And I know that Aunt Narcissa will be sad if I don't come along, too.

I'm not too certain about many of the details, but they did say that they believe he's hiding in New London "the majority of the time." They only call him "the target," though, never by his name.

It's not that I don't think it's safe to share with the others on the lock, it's more that I'm not very used to it. You're the only person I've ever shared so much with except for But then when I read back through some of the old entries, I saw that Pansy wrote about how I'm so incredibly private, and that I only talk about surface things and no one can ever tell what I'm thinking. So maybe I should try to share more.

From,
Hydra

[alt_justin]

No, of course. Quite right that you should spend time on holiday with them. Do you think you might be able to visit next week at all?

That's the sort of information it would be well useful to pass to him, what? I say, if you don't want to tell Hermione, then perhaps I'll write to him to warn him. I realise New London's large but it's not that large, after all.

I suppose the real question, Dux, is whether you want to share more. No one shall judge you if you don't do, you know. It's not a requirement, what? But if you decide that there are things you'd like to talk about, I don't think you ought to feel as if you must censor yourself, if you follow me.

Why, is there something you've got on your mind, sweetheart? I say, anything I can do to help?

-J

[alt_hydra]

I think we should be able to manage something, surely.

I don't know about telling Hermione. Does it seem a little like she feels burdened as a go-between, sometimes? I shouldn't like to be a bother.

I don't know what I want. If it seems like I'm just forcing things out to make conversation and make people feel comfortable with me, then that's no good. But if there's something I really feel like sharing, I don't want to bring it up, only to find out later that it wasn't important at all, and nothing to worry about in the first place.

But I can at least share with them what I know about the hunt for Sirius Black. They'd probably like to know about that.

From,
Hydra

[alt_justin]

You're sounding like me, not wanting to be a bother. Some people seem to think the lock is good for any passing thought that comes to mind. So how could your thoughts be a bother?

I know what I want. But I shall have to wait for it, shan't I?

I do hope you have fun, though. Do you know where they're staying? No one's said--for security, I shouldn't wonder, what? I quite expect it to be jolly lovely, wherever you're going.

-J