You're not disturbing me and stop apologising for it.
I'm the one who should be apologising. I should have made more time for you at holidays, talked about what happened a little more. Fatherhood is - well, it's tricky. Yes, there was a time a few years ago when someone dear to me was expecting and thought I might have been the father. It was complicated. She was also being coerced to have sex with another man, you see, and I think on the whole she would have preferred to think her son belonged to someone who cared about her, and about whom she cared.
It didn't work out that way, but not before I'd had loads of time to consider what it would be like. I'd never wanted children, either. Coming from a family like mine - like Hydra's - you can surely understand why we're not eager to procreate. No one needs another tiny little Bellatrix in this world.
You don't need to be ashamed that you're still grieving. And I don't think you need to hide it from Hydra, either. She may want children later - she may not - but you've got loads of time to make that decision. If this pregnancy really does turn out to be the only child you'd ever have had, that doesn't matter. What matters is that you have each other.
But I get it. A muddle is right. I had time to adjust to the possibility, only to have it be taken away. You got it all at once. I know you hate hearing this one, but give it time. Don't let it shadow how you feel about Hydra.
And I can't believe I'm saying this, but try not to blame Grouch. It's no one's fault. No one knew, least of all you and Hydra. And maybe knowing would have changed things, sure, but you are both so committed to this madness, it's a fair question just how that would have played out. You'll make yourself mad with all the 'might-haves' and 'if onlys'.
You're doing all right, kiddo. You just need time.
Re: Private Message to Justin
I'm the one who should be apologising. I should have made more time for you at holidays, talked about what happened a little more. Fatherhood is - well, it's tricky. Yes, there was a time a few years ago when someone dear to me was expecting and thought I might have been the father. It was complicated. She was also being coerced to have sex with another man, you see, and I think on the whole she would have preferred to think her son belonged to someone who cared about her, and about whom she cared.
It didn't work out that way, but not before I'd had loads of time to consider what it would be like. I'd never wanted children, either. Coming from a family like mine - like Hydra's - you can surely understand why we're not eager to procreate. No one needs another tiny little Bellatrix in this world.
You don't need to be ashamed that you're still grieving. And I don't think you need to hide it from Hydra, either. She may want children later - she may not - but you've got loads of time to make that decision. If this pregnancy really does turn out to be the only child you'd ever have had, that doesn't matter. What matters is that you have each other.
But I get it. A muddle is right. I had time to adjust to the possibility, only to have it be taken away. You got it all at once. I know you hate hearing this one, but give it time. Don't let it shadow how you feel about Hydra.
And I can't believe I'm saying this, but try not to blame Grouch. It's no one's fault. No one knew, least of all you and Hydra. And maybe knowing would have changed things, sure, but you are both so committed to this madness, it's a fair question just how that would have played out. You'll make yourself mad with all the 'might-haves' and 'if onlys'.
You're doing all right, kiddo. You just need time.